I am the mother of a beautiful girl who was born in Jiangxi Province, Peoples Republic of China. No doubt most of you are aware of the Chinese one child policy and its implications for Chinese girls.
When we first traveled to China to adopt her, I wrote a lot about the experience. I needed to learn and process what it meant for me and my method of doing that was through writing.
Now, I spend a lot of time reading and learning about adoption and Chinese girls growing up in America. There are a legion of websites and facebook groups for parents and adoptees like us. There are no end to the issues and discussions in which we all take part.
From the moment we started the process, I had always assumed that she (we) would never know her biological family. It is a crime to abandon babies in China, and so most leavers of babies do so quickly and quietly in a hopefully safe space where they can be easily found.
I say a prayer every day because whomever left my girl did exactly that. I know that the biological mother of this child must think about their girl every day, and I do my share of praying to the four winds that they know somehow that she is happy and healthy and well taken care of and most of all loved beyond measure.
But now, on all my FB groups, reunions are beginning to happen. Thanks to modern DNA science, girls are getting tested and groups of adoptive parents and adoptees are making their way to China to encourage Chinese parents to get registered. Matches are being made. People are actually finding the daughters they thought they’d lost forever. Stories abound, and if you guessed they are tear jerkers you are right.
Young girls, swaddled in the blankets they were born in, left with a lucky charm or note, are being raised in the lap of privilege in this country. Given education and love and resources beyond compare, are growing up and find their way back. The tears flow from the mommas and poppas who grab their long lost daughters and beg for forgiveness.
The stories are like crack for me. One after another I envision a day in the future where my lovely girl and I might make the same trip. To close this circle that is wide open and dangling before us. Will she be so lucky as to meet the birth family that gave her up so many years ago? Does she even want to? How old should she be when we start the search? These are some of the questions I ponder daily.
Meeting her birth family is not threatening for me. Whomever set my daughter on the steps of the social welfare institute that May morning committed an act of love, and I would like to repay that love with the chance to hug and kiss this strong smart girl. I like to think that meeting her biological family is quite simply a part of her story, and I for one am anxious to know how it all turns out. Aren’t you?
For now we have registered her DNA on several sites and I continue to learn about programs for Chinese adoptees and issues related to birth parent searching. The right opportunity will present itself before too long.
For now, here is a video of a reunion story.
Amy Cornell for the PGM