CHRISTMAS EVE 2000

Tis the weekend before Xmas and all through the house
Ginger barks at the door, Turtle chases a mouse
Chuck hides in the loft afraid to come forth
cause he’s on my shit list cause he shat on the floor
and the rug in the bathroom and the rug by the door
and he pissed where he shat and he wants to some more

There is snow on the ground and there’s cold in the air
so Chuck has decided to piss every which where
Denise lies a’resting with hands behind head
hoping her nausea gets lost on a sled
sailing down yonder hillside to valley below
so she can eat garlic and play in the snow

Sean is sitting with family beside Nina’s bed
quietly reading a book he just read
waiting for Nina to rest from her pain
waiting for life to be happy again

Dietrich and Cara have left in the Trooper
to retrieve all the stuff from their car, now a blooper
crushed in the front and crushed in the side
from an Oldsmobile head-on collision last night
Twasn’t their fault and they weren’t hurt too badly
but their Christmas spirit is now sagging quite sadly

Bill is stretched out in the chair by the window
working crossword puzzles and hanging in limbo
“Look at the woodpecker! Look at the dogs!
“Will you bring me some coffee? Will you find me some togs?
“Would you wash ‘tween my toes? Would you please scratch my back?
“Would you fix me some supper?  Would you bring me a snack?”
He’s so mad at himself as on crutches he’s hopping
(I think he just wants to skip Christmas shopping)

Kevin slides around on brakes that don’t work
his grandma just died and his job has no perks
his sweetie is spending the holidays out west
his sons have blue hair and tattoos on their chests

Me? How am I? Mid this season so blest?
Mid this season that sounds like such a damn mess?
I’m thankful for family, for friends, for bean soup
and at least all my children aren’t dying of croup
I’m glad for my teeth and I’m glad for my hair
(I wish Bill still had his but his head’s getting bare)
I’m glad for my Trooper that goes in the snow
I’m glad that a reindeer didn’t step on my toe.
I’m glad for my paycheck even though it’s too small
it’s better than not any paycheck at all

I have presents to wrap and chickens to feed
a daughter to hold when she faints to her knees
(because of that youngun within her, so tiny
so full of new hope, all bright and sunshiney)
A son and his honey to hug cause they’re here
(maybe son will start wearing his seatbelt this year)
A son-in-law to pray for while he sits with his mother
while he waits with his dad
while he waits with his brothers
A husband to love, to pamper, to tease
to bake him some cookies, to check him for fleas

Life can be funny and life can be sad
luck can be good and luck can be bad
and so mid this season of good, bad, and ugly
I sit by my fire and smile rather smugly
The waterline’s not frozen, I have dishes to do
my cat’s not an elephant, Bill’s not broke in two
so I lift up my voice and sing out with delight
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

Glenda Breeden for The Poplar Grove Muse

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *